This week, I’ve been really ill. Maybe it’s all the stress that I’ve been under: Looking for a new place to live, Asking for a raise, unresolved issues with my family, weird sleeping schedule (the kids), pressure to produce something!
Anyway, here’s a quick review:
- Asked for a raise (Which was quickly followed by questions of “How do you do that special XYZ thing you do?)
- Keep my head when I found out my account information was used to make some weird purchases
- Make a post to email-init to further information about email clients
Things on my mind:
- Find a place to live
- Work on my personal relationships
- Do a deeper review than this
Basically the same thing as last week
Today, I got a notification that someone had stolen my account information to buy things online and that my account is going to be closed for the time being. It just goes to show that you have to be on top of this kind of stuff and people will take your money even if you don’t have a lot in the first place.
On top of that, I just got the bill for the fixes to my doorway that was kicked in last year.
You must be out of your mind!
Talk about bad timing!
My wife and I took the kids to Costco today to load up on some of the necessities (namely toilet paper). As it is now fall, Costco has brought out some of their winter wear and my wife was a beautiful peacoat. My wife loves peacoats and has been saying that she would like something new because she's been loosing weight due to her new found passion for running. Like any husband I would love to get her the dress, but we have already bought her two other jackets in the last year plus a Scottevest that we got on sale two weeks ago.
We can't afford it. We haven't a need nor do we have any money in the budget for it.
My wife tries on a few and then sadly places the item back.
That's when my oldest daughter asks why.
I don't even think about it and say, "We don't have the money to buy it."
Instantly, my wife get's angry. Later on we talk about it briefly in the car and she tells me that I should have told our daughter about it in a different way.
"Should I have said, 'We can't afford it'?"
"No, you should say it in a way so she won't misunderstand and get picked on."
I let the subject drop because I'm frustrated. As far as I'm concerned, I told my daughter exactly why we couldn't buy the coat in a way that shouldn't make anyone feel offended. I think it's one of the most important financial lessons an adult (or any one else for that matter) should know. You don't buy things if you can't afford them. If I had learned this lesson earlier or taken it to heart years ago, I'd be in a different financial situation. I don't want my daughters to go down that path an I certainly don't want them to think that they are less because they can't get everything they want.
It's ok to know our limits.
But didn't I just say that I'm guilty of this as well?
I've decided to place myself on a spending diet. I've already paid most of my bills for this month. I'm going to set aside $200 for gas and other expenses and place that in a my new Golden1 checking account and see how things go from there. I'm hoping that it helps me realize that the money my family needs to survive is different then the money I use for wantsies.
I'd like to take this time to thank myself for not going completely crazy this last week. Crying babies, very little sleep and just the aftermath of all the drama from last month and I'm still standing...
...although a little wobbly!
But, I'd like to take some time and do a little weekly review.
Personal accomplishments this week:
- Finish two projects for work that will reward the company for a while
- Keep my cool despite the constant pressure to find a new place and money to pay for it.
- Cut back on my liquid sugar intake. No soda!
- Did a weekly review
Things Still on my Mind:
- How to make more income
- How to improve the relationship I have with my family
- What are some more activities that I can do with my children in the winter time
It just feels weird for a variety of reasons. There is the traditional protestant guilt that one is supposed to be working everyday combined with questioning wether or not you are contagious topped with the delicious pressure of all the things that need to be done.
Although you can’t tell by only looking at my blog, but I’ve made a commitment with myself to write more often. It’s usually how I cope with some of the “opportunities” that life presents to me and I typically feel much better about myself and my path in life.
Recently, I’ve been having some difficulty getting started on some posts. I catch myself worrying more about what tool I'm going to use then the actual content of m writing.
I was going to wonder what the pros use, but it doesn't matter. The important thing to do is to just write something.
Writers write. Programmer program. Simple.
My father recently had a stroke and was doing some intense physical therapy down in Vallejo.
But he's coming home today! This month is really coming around!
Today, I woke up from a nightmare. I dreamed that I was unable to move forward with my life. That there was some list out there that kept track of my every mistake and that it prevented me from getting a raise at my current job or to move to another job. There was a guy who let me look at the list and it was filled with minute and cryptic offenses. The whole time I stood there shocked because there wasn't a way to defend myself... it was all on the paper that I wasn't supposed to see in the first place. What do I do? How can this be fair? Some of the things were so small as to seems inconsequential. Some of them had nothing to do with who I was, what I had done in the past or how I had changed over the years.
Waking up, I realized that I was looking at the fear I've of just letting my past mistakes dictate who I am and denying myself of the possibility of being better.
My goals for the year include (in no particular order)
- Get into great shape
- Learn and document a programming language
- Continue to be a good father
Well, let's see how it goes.