Today, I've decided that I was going to push my website out to the masses before the end of the week. This is a personal blog and just because it isn't perfect it is something that I created and I want to take pride in the fact that I'm willing to get out there and work on something and make it better.
Some of the things that I'd like to work on will be the handling of navigation at the top and figuring out how to get the tufte style to work properly with pelican. I attempted to get everything working with a liquid tag but the parser doesn't work well with blocklevel tags and wraps it in
<p> so the expected css doesn't apply properly. This only applies to fullwidth figures but I'd like it all to be uniform.
I like the idea of being a writer. i also like the idea of being a programmer. I spend a lot of time reading about what this and that person did an invariably putthem on a little bit of a pedistal. After that I stand back and say "that person is cool. I wonder if I could do something cool like that. I know, I'll takesome notes and then when I get a chance I'll make something must as cool."
Nothing comes from just wanting and -at this point- my dreams are only hurting me because I see these people and only see what i lack versus what i can bring to the table.
I feel like im hurting and i dont know if I'll ever heal.
I tell myself it ok. That I can get up and do something more with my life but it feels like all my breaks are simply to break even.
I need help.
I need some kind of guidence.
Last night the wife and I were up late last night.
A while ago I came across some questions to consider everytime that I do a review of my tasks. The problem is that I've attached the questions to a task in OmniFocus and -honestly- I don't think it's helpful to do something like that unless I think and write about it.
Is this system trustworthy? If not, why not? Do I need to make better backups?
No, there are two major problems with the personal productivity. The first is that I don't schedule enough time for something. How can I finish a task when I don't make any time for it. Secondly, I don't do enough positive reviews. I need to do a review every day to make sure that tasks don't fall through the cracks and I don't overwhelm myself. I find most of my reviews are when I'm under the gun. Not a good thing.
Is there a next actionable task? Can it actually be readily done?
Yes... for the most part. I have a couple projects that have items like "Brainstorm next action".
When do I anticipate looking at this next action’s context?
This goes back to the first question.
What will this project look like when it is done?
Depends on the project, baby.
When do I think I’ll need to see this project again?
That also depends on the project.
Today, I'm going to nock some things off of my project list for a while now.
The first thing that I'm going to do after dropping off the kids is redo my website. I've put up a place holder for now, but I'm sick of not having a place on the internet that isn't really mine. I'm going to have a really basic design and then just take it from there. I think I might even place it back onto NearlyFreeSpeech.net again because they had one of the easier ways of hosting and I didn't have to worry about forwarding the www.quotidianquest.com. I think one other thing about this project is to finish my version of my formatting markdown script. I've been pushing it back for quite a while and I can't get it off of my mind. I'd really like to have something to show the world and just be able to move on with something else.
As for my other project that I'm going to be moving on to. I'm going to work on my trust issues with my project tracking system. I don't review it often enough to trust it and I find myself letting things fall by the way side. I think I'm going to focus on getting things out of my mind and dedicating time on my calendar to review things at the beginning and end of the day.
Hello, today I was thinking about all the things I would like to do. Sometimes it feels like I have the entire world on my shoulders and I fight the urge to attempt to do everything at once.
I'm going to take a second to think about what the most important thing is at this moment and do it to the best of my ability. It times like this, I go back to OmniFocus.
Today, I attempted to ship a book[^book] that I had placed on Amazon. Amazon was going to give me 3 bucks to ship it and all the shipping options that USPS offered were 4 dollars or more. I like the idea of sharing knowledge but I seriously don't want to donate my money and time in this fashion.
I've been looking for a job on dice.com and it strikes me as interesting on how different job postings can be. Some of them are very simple and might as well be the equivelent of a "Help Wanted" sign while others might have 30 or more requirements in order to apply.
During my last interview, the person I spoke with was actually surprised that I read the psoting and job description. Which got me thinking about the hotgun versus snipper rifle approach to job hunting. Do you focus on getting as many résumé out there or do you make a custom one for every kind of position and a different covers letters for every position?
Today marks the one week aniversary of my 250 words project and I have to say that I'm not only proud of what I've done but very thankful to have done it. Honestly, when you look at all the new habits that people attempt to start every year, I think this one is not only reasonably attainable but one of the most personal. Sometimes, I think about what kind of legacy I'm going to leave and wether or not my children will really know who I am as a person. Maybe they can read over some of these entries and get a better insight over who I am.
In other personal news, I met up with my dad today and he asked that I attempt to reconnect with my brother and call my mother more. I've tried multiple time with my mom and everytime the situation gets worse. I feel that somewhere along the line we disconnected (way before I went to college) and don't know how to communicate on a deeper level then wishing each other well.
The last thing he intentionally said to me was "Fuck You, Mandaris". That was on my birthday and that is where our relationship stands.
Other than that, my dad also said I should go to grad school and made a compelling argument that it would help my career. I told him I'd think about it.
In the past, I've thought about becoming my own boss and running a small business where I make up the rules and direct my energy and focus on something that I enjoy. True, starting out, I would probably have to submit myself to the whims of whatever customers I'd potentially have, but I have a desire to have more control over my career. Not saying that people who work for others don't have that kind of control, so much as to say that I've met more than a few people who want have expressed thoughts of "why did they do this or that" at all the companies I've been at.
Recently, I've come across a job posting for a programming position at Intel and wanted to apply for it. If I get selected for an interview and get past that there is a programming test with a catch...
... IF I FAIL, not only will I not get hired. I won't be able to interview with Intel again for an undefined time.
Now, I understand why Intel has done this there are a lot of people out there looking for jobs who look good on paper and may do well in an interview. How do you reduce the amount of people you have to look at if there is a chance that someone who bubbled up from the heap comes back?
It is making me pause.
But my final thought is, I could apply and not get the job or I could sit here and do nothing garuntee I won't get it.
Wow, the second day.
This is usually the time that I start having doubts about a new goal as the initial passion starts to ebb a little bit as I remember all the other missions and goals that I set out to do only to "not have any time for them" later on. I brings to mind link that I shared via twitter the other day where someone wrote about the problems that a friend was having with working out. It's not that the desire isn't there, it's the fact that their isn't much follow through.
I think it's more of the habits and mindset that I have. As far as I can remember, I've been a little bit of a perfectionist and my own harsest critic. In fact, if you saw how I write on the computer you would be surprised how many times I'll write a sentence notice that one word is mistyped and then delete the entire thing all over again.
I've recently started making a serious attempt to listen to white noise at work and I'm really liking the results. It's like the world becomes unplugged and the only thing that stops me from doing what I want is myself. I imagine that I'm in a box in front of my computer and the only I can do is write.
I don't even think about whether my writing sucks, just the fact that I am writing something!
We stopped using comcast a couple of months ago only to replace it with AT&T. Now instead of a fast connection that drops out every once and a while, we have a slow connection that can't support streaming media for more than one device at a time.
All I want to do with this project is work on my writing. I want to be able to communicate better via my writingg. I don't plan on having this being seen by everyone and then placed on the internet, because I want to talk about anything that I want without reprisal.
So right now, my number one concern is wether I'm going to be able to do this every day or what happens if i forget to do this. How would I punish myself or make up for it. Well, the first thing is to forgive myself. It takes time to start a new habit and -honestly- things happen. I might wake up late or have a lot of high priority things going on.
The most important thing is that I get myself some time to just sit back and have some positive time to think. At the moment, I feel that this is my best form of communication (even to myself).
There have been multiple times when I've opened a new page in my journal and said "Who am I and what do i want?". I think a lot of people have done this in one shape or another. For example, to paraphrase Merlin Mann that everytime that we procrastinate, we're forget who we are. How many times do we as humans procrastinate in a given day, week, month, year. You could argue that it's just a way to relax, but even then could you honestly say that all those moments helped you relieve stress?
I think not.