Today for my creative challenge, I'm going to write 250 words!
I was sending and tweet to Matt Gemmel (a developer who has transitioned to being a writer) asking what kind of exercises does he do to improve his writing. He stated that he writes about himself in third person and then does some fan fiction as well.
I'm going to do something similar to that because I have some desire to be a little bit of a writer as well.
Of course it was part of a dream that I've given up, but I think I should at least work on making it an option. Being able to express my thoughts, feelings and ideas can only help me interact with other people.
Sometimes, I get lonely and I don't know if anyone feels the same way that I do about a lot of things. If I write about what I think, I might find others like me who feel the same way about it.
Or even better, I can understand my own feeling about something and work towards getting a grasp of it. Understand it and do something about it if it is negative.
One last goal is to be able to write for another publication. I feel that I have a unique way of seeing things sometimes. Some of the reports and snippets that I see on the internet are about 250 words and if I could write something that length easily than it would open a lot of doors.
I like the idea of being a writer. i also like the idea of being a programmer. I spend a lot of time reading about what this and that person did an invariably putthem on a little bit of a pedistal. After that I stand back and say "that person is cool. I wonder if I could do something cool like that. I know, I'll takesome notes and then when I get a chance I'll make something must as cool."
Nothing comes from just wanting and -at this point- my dreams are only hurting me because I see these people and only see what i lack versus what i can bring to the table.
I feel like im hurting and i dont know if I'll ever heal.
I tell myself it ok. That I can get up and do something more with my life but it feels like all my breaks are simply to break even.
I need help.
I need some kind of guidence.
Today I went to a blogging workshop and I found it really interesting. At first, I was worried that it would filled with the standard novice information like how to get on the internet being taught by someone took 15 minutes to get some information off the internet and put it into a powerpoint presentation to read to use.
I've decided to give Byword on iOS a norther chance. The first time I tried it I found it to be a little too unstable and (more a personal matter) too different than the other ways of writing that im used to.
Byword is actually the first text editor that I bought. I've attempted to use simple note as well as the notes application that came with all iOS devices. I stopped using simple note because of a little syncing issue between it, nvalt and Dropbox. I might give it another chance because I've simplified my writing and reduced some of the complexity of my thoughts but we will see how all of this turns out.
I guess that is really the heart of my problem with Byword on iOS, I couldn't really see how it would perform in my "workflow". If I used iCloud sync, it seemed that I wouldn't be able to achieve the files with the rest of my snippets and push them to my blog as I would like to. the dropbox support was kind of weird as I saw multiple copies sometimes.
So why am I using it again.
Well, after losing my job, I fell off of my writing wagon and I found myself just wandering between submitting job applications. I got lost in the tools and focusing on my lack of writing instead of making it happen for me. I figured that if it's alright to get back on the writing horse, then it should be alright to give this tool another chance to.
After all, it just text.
A couple of weeks ago, I challenged myself to write 250 words every day and although some days were harder than others, I found myself enjoying it and going over the required minimum. I really enjoyed making the transition for having a ton of words running around my head to having them placed into something that I can review and format. For most of my life, I've been a little bit of a perfectionist and sometimes the words that I want to say don't quite measure up to the standards I'd like. This whole thing, although only weeks old has been rewarding as a way to become better at writing and allowing me to get past my own hang ups on writing.
Unfortunately, I got sick about a week ago and had to take a little bit of break in order to focus on not throwing up followed shortly by a scramble to look for another job because my contract at Intel is going to expire soon.
But, the writing bug has bit me and I don't want to deny it any longer. I enjoy journaling because it allows me to get my thoughts together and think about what my plans are going to be moving forward. I hope that who ever reads this in the future and learn something.
This morning, I woke up to vomit.
After a very long night filled with little ones who don't like sleeping in their own beds by themselves coming to invade mommy and daddy's bed, I was awakened to a desperate plea for water.
I ran to get the water, she took two sips and then promptly threw up...
... in the bed
... on the way to bathroom
... not in the bathroom
... but on the way out
Luckily, my wife was able to take care of her during the day. So that I could go to work and train my replacement some more.
Oh, the horrors
For the last year, I've been busy at work attempting to get an automated tool to work as it was designed. In fact, at one point I was attempting to automate the automated tool so that everyone could benefit by not running it. Personally, I thought this was a pointless endevour.
What is the point of automating an automated tool? Especially when that first tool is being modified and changed on an almost daily basis.
Well, I managed to get the system somewhat working but I found myself having to do a significant amount of working trying to fix other issues and it kind of died.
But the problems still persist. I welcome automation, but I have to question the logic when were are stacking issues upon issues like this.
Improvements in writing
I've been doing this 250 word thing for almost 3 weeks now and I haven't done any editing on entries that I make. The original goal of this project was to get my thoughts out of my head and have something to look at as an achievement. I'm currently debating on whether I should read them because the process might make me too self conscience to write more.
Sometimes, we have to sit back and realize that we are all only human.
Take a breath and just let go.
Let's just Automate it
At work, we've been talking a lot about how to make things better by automating some of the task that we do. That's great, in fact, you could argue that this one of the main functions of a computer. In stead of looking up how to spell a word, it automatically looks it up for you. In stead of mailing a check to pay your bills, you can pay it online.
My problem is that a lot of the things I'm working with are wrappers around a series of other utilities.
Man, I've been so busy with life and trying to do a million things at once that I haven't put a lot of time into my projects. In fact, the list of projects has just grown bigger and bigger the last couple of days as I have to brush up on a lot of things.
This is the second week that I've been doing the 250 word project and the last couple of days have been difficult for me to come up with something to write about. Sometimes, all I can think about are short snippets like this one. I think the problem is that I haven't been keeping track of the topics that I'd like to write about thoughout the day so that when I'm home I can flesh them out.
Today marks the one week aniversary of my 250 words project and I have to say that I'm not only proud of what I've done but very thankful to have done it. Honestly, when you look at all the new habits that people attempt to start every year, I think this one is not only reasonably attainable but one of the most personal. Sometimes, I think about what kind of legacy I'm going to leave and wether or not my children will really know who I am as a person. Maybe they can read over some of these entries and get a better insight over who I am.
In other personal news, I met up with my dad today and he asked that I attempt to reconnect with my brother and call my mother more. I've tried multiple time with my mom and everytime the situation gets worse. I feel that somewhere along the line we disconnected (way before I went to college) and don't know how to communicate on a deeper level then wishing each other well.
The last thing he intentionally said to me was "Fuck You, Mandaris". That was on my birthday and that is where our relationship stands.
Other than that, my dad also said I should go to grad school and made a compelling argument that it would help my career. I told him I'd think about it.
So I'm messing around with plaintext to see how it might fit into my workflow. It seems like it moves pretty fast. I.m going to try simple note late on and see if that makes for a better experience when it comes to writing.
Personally, I'm leaning more towards a Dropbox based solution because that has a versioning system and that will help me... Some how?
Had a great conversation with my wife about a lot of things. What I liked best about it was we weren't talking about something important but that we listen to each other. Two individuals who wanted to share their thoughts and opinions, it's something we definitely need more of because I don't want to wake up one day next to a stranger.
Wow, the second day.
This is usually the time that I start having doubts about a new goal as the initial passion starts to ebb a little bit as I remember all the other missions and goals that I set out to do only to "not have any time for them" later on. I brings to mind link that I shared via twitter the other day where someone wrote about the problems that a friend was having with working out. It's not that the desire isn't there, it's the fact that their isn't much follow through.
I think it's more of the habits and mindset that I have. As far as I can remember, I've been a little bit of a perfectionist and my own harsest critic. In fact, if you saw how I write on the computer you would be surprised how many times I'll write a sentence notice that one word is mistyped and then delete the entire thing all over again.
I've recently started making a serious attempt to listen to white noise at work and I'm really liking the results. It's like the world becomes unplugged and the only thing that stops me from doing what I want is myself. I imagine that I'm in a box in front of my computer and the only I can do is write.
I don't even think about whether my writing sucks, just the fact that I am writing something!
We stopped using comcast a couple of months ago only to replace it with AT&T. Now instead of a fast connection that drops out every once and a while, we have a slow connection that can't support streaming media for more than one device at a time.